My Past, Present and Whatever!

ANOTHER LONELY CHRISTMAS

2009-12-25T01:04:00.000+08:00

Christmas is a wonderful season
Time for forgiveness and affection
Time for peace and sharing
Time for joy and time for aiding

This is a very special moment for people
In fact, many have sung Christmas carols
All nations are happy at this moment
Because war at this time is usually absent

Although the above are the recipe for Christmas
Let us not forget that it is the birth of Jesus
This is the true meaning why we celebrate it
And not for our own selfish benefits

What about people who are hungry
People that are homeless and thirsty
Some are away from their family
Parted ways from their own country

What about people who are lonely
Do they deserve to be happy?
What about people in bad situations
Have you ever asked these questions?

Christmas supposed to be joy for everyone
But it’s hard to pretend to have fun
Happiness is not always the case
For people who have no one to embrace

A PRAYER TO THE LORD

2009-12-14T22:35:00.001+08:00

My daughter has a high fever
And my wife has not slept because of her
I urged her to take appropriate action
So that it may not worsen her condition

They took her to the hospital
Because every moment is crucial
I pity so much for my little angel
I wish I was there beside her

I fear of dengue fever and swine flu
But I hope that this is not the issue
Because there are cases in their vicinity
And the outcome is very deadly

I cried and prayed to you oh Lord
For my daughter’s health be restored
I know I have many misdeeds
But strike me instead of my seeds

As I write this, she is still sick
I hope God you will answer me quick
Because I don’t know what else I do
I am hoping all my faith and trust in you

I DID TELL HER!

2009-11-27T19:52:00.000+08:00

I can’t believe that I said that to her
Maybe it couldn’t wait any longer
What am I talking about?
The feelings I have that never came out!

It’s not polite to tell her on the phone
But this is all that I have known
Sad thing is, she was not alone
So we did not talk for long

I just told her three things
First, after this I will not be communicating
Second, the other guy I saw with another
Third, I told her that I love her

She told me that we can never be
Because I already have a family
True, but can I control this beat?
For all I know love is so sweet

I know that she don’t like me
But I am still happy
For I freed myself from this prison
Hoping to be a better person

If you are reading this right now
I do love you and I know how
I maybe bad but reasonable
Ask yourself, is loving someone sinful?

KABAYAN, HINDI KA NAG-IISA

2009-11-27T15:25:00.001+08:00

Ang hirap talagang maging Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW), malayo ka sa mga mahal mo sa buhay at halos araw-araw ay kalaban mo ang lungkot dahil sa pananabik na makita ang iyong mga minamahal sa Pilipinas. Malaki nga ang sweldo mo dito sa abroad kumpara sa Pilipinas pero napakarami pa rin tayong mga kababayan na hindi nakakaipon kahit ginugol na ang buong buhay nila sa pagkayod dito sa ibang bansa, bakit?, ang isang dahilan ay ang pagbili ng mga phonecards na halos umabot ng 10-20% kaltas sa kanilang sahod. Ang pagbili ng mamahaling kagamitan kagaya ng cellphone, gadgets, damit at pati pagkain ay mahal din. At ang higit sa lahat na sa paniwala ko na nakapagpapabutas ng bulsa ng mga kababayan nating OFW ay ang "Pag-utang" sa mga bangko o sa mga financial/loan centers. Hindi rin maiiwasang hindi ka tumulong sa ibang mahal natin sa buhay kapag sila ay nangangailangan lalo kapag nagkasakit ang mga ito, kaya tama lang na ideklara na ang mga OFW ay ang mga bagong bayani ng ating bayan.

Ako nga pala si Michael, isang OFW at isa sa mga milyon-milyung nagpapadala ng pera sa mga mahal ko sa buhay sa Pilipinas at sa pamamagitan nyan ay natulungan ko na rin ang ating bansa sa kanyang pag-unlad "daw". Pasensya na po kayo kung bakit "daw" ang isinulat ko dahil alam naman nating lahat na halos walang naramdamang "pag-unlad" ang ating bansa partikular nalang sa mga kababayan nating nakatira sa mga kalsada, mga nagugutom, mga walang hanap-buhay, walang sapat na gamit sa paaralan, mga lubak-lubak na kasada, at maging sa mga probinsya na di umuunlad. Ngayon sabihin nyo sa akin kung mali ang mga sinasabi ko?, hindi ko naman sinasabi na walang nagagawa o inutil ang ating gobyerno sa pagsugpo sa kahirapan sa ating bansa dahil ramdam ang kahirapan sa buong mundo pero masasabi kong hindi sapat ang kanilang ginagawa para sa mga mahihirap, bakit ko nasabi yan?, dahil imbes na itulong sa mga mahihirap, ang ginawa ay kinurakot ang pera na para sana sa proyekto at ang ihahalimbawa ko dyan ay ang NBN-ZTE at Fertilizer Fund Scam. Kahit 5% man lang sana sa nasabi kong kinurakot ng gobyerno ay napakalaking maitutulong sana sa mga kababayan nating naghihikahos. Kaya tuloy kaming mga OFW ay naghahangad na bumagsak ang piso kontra dolyar dahil wala rin namang nangyayari sa ating ekonomiya, hindi pa rin bumababa ang mga pangunahing bilihin.

Napakalungkot dito sa abroad kaya ang iba ay naghahanap nalang ng mga paraan para mapawi ang kanilang kalungkutan. Ang iba ay nagnenegosyo, may nagpapartime din, may mga pumupunta sa kung anong relihiyon o church dito, pero may iba tayong mga kababayan na humanap ng kaligayahan sa kasalanan at ang tinutukoy ko po dito ay yung mga may asawa na sa pilipinas ay nagkaroon pa ng karelasyon dito sa abroad. Masasabi ko po sa mga gumagawa ng ganyan, na napakahirap po ng sitwasyon ninyo kaya po habang maaga ay bitawan nyo na yan.

Sa pagtatapos nitong maiksi kong sulat ay sana maramdaman ninyo na laging mayroong Diyos na gagabay sa atin sa dako pa roon ng ating mga buhay, subok ko na po ang Diyos dahil halos lahat ay nakamit ko na ang basbas niya na mga biyaya. Kaya kabayan, hindi ka nag-iisa.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

2009-11-22T23:47:00.001+08:00

Sometimes it’s very hard to reset
The things which is already set
In my mind I want to forget
The feeling I intended to beget

I could not allow this to happen
Or else my life will be ruin
But I cannot control this situation
So how can I overcome this passion?

If you can’t grasp what I’m saying
I can tell you this in briefing
In the next paragraph when you read
You can understand how much I bleed

There is a certain girl I know
She closed her heart long ago
But there is a space inside my heart
That only she can take part

MY OFFSPRING IS MY BLESSING

2009-11-16T15:24:00.000+08:00

Myka, that’s what we call her
But her real name is the same as my mother
Who left me, my sister and my father
To wander in the future

Anyway, let’s get on with my story
This is about my little baby
Sweet, pretty and cuddly
Who gives me inspiration when I’m lonely

I wish I could hold and kiss her someday
For I am working overseas far away
I’m so alone here in this far country
But I am trying to be jolly

There was a time that she visited me
Of course with a guardian, her auntie
My golly she was very choosey
When I hold her, she wants to flee

But I finally got time to carry her
I make her sleep and feed her hunger
I even clean her feces occasionally
For that is also my responsibility

We were happy being with each other
In our moment there was no biter
We wandered from place to place
Often using our feet to pace

The end of their vacation was coming
We must part ways for the time being
I kissed her farewell as my heart was aching
Then small drops of tears starts producing

Sadness abides me for weeks
I’m mostly like a freak
For I missed my daugher so much
I wanted her sense of touch

Even though my wife was here before
As she can fill up my sore
We were not living together
Because she has her own employer

My wife was going home months after
So that she can take care of our daughter
She was also pregnant at that moment
And was about to deliver our new infant

Time passes by and loneliness again abides
For no loved one here by my side
But what else can I do?
I cannot escape from this issue

Then a baby was delivered in this world
Crying and crying they heard
This causes my feelings to split apart
For my daughter was no longer alone in my heart

I love both of my children
I will not leave them in burden
There is just one problem
I cannot take care of them

Once I had the time to go back home
I want to see how much they have grown
But I was disappointed of what I see
Because my daughter wouldn’t want to get near to me

I have never been there for my little baby
I wish I had seen her stand so quickly
On her first birthday I was not there for her
But I’m working so that their life will be better

My son on the other hand likes me
He likes to be carried by any
He often bites any finger
Specially a smaller one like his sister

I enjoyed so much during my stay
Even though my daughter wants me away
But I’m buying my time for her
Because I want her to be closer

At last her feelings has become stable
It happened when I bought her a baby bottle
She was smiling and I was thankful
My patience was indeed fruitful

Time goes by then my vacation was over
There is one certain thing I discovered
That I should always make bonds to my family
Otherwise their feelings would end far from me

That night when I said goodbye
My daughter cry and cried
Maybe she don't want me to go
But I must do it for I love them so

In this far country in which I live
There shouldn’t be a room to be passive
For you will end up being crazy
Like others who struggle desperately

My daughter now is two years old
And as I am building their stronghold
I keep thinking what life would it be
Without someone caring for me

BAWAL NA PAGMAMAHAL

2009-11-12T22:08:00.001+08:00

Bakit kaya ayaw niyang maniwala sa akin
Sa tinitibok ng aking damdamin
Akala niya siguro ako ay nagbibiro
Seryoso naman itong aking puso

Alam kong mali ang aking nararamdaman
Pero hindi ko ito kayang pigilan
Mas mapipigilan pa ang rumaragasang tubig
Pero hindi ang taong umiibig

Kung ito man ay aking sasabihin
Maunawaan sana niya ang aking saloobin
Di ko naman inaasahan ang kanyang matamis na oo
Ngunit sana ay maniwala siya dito

Mahal ko siya di ko alam kung bakit
Ngunit ako ay nagdadalawang isip
Baka kasi siya ay magalit
Kung ito ay aking ipipilit

Gusto ko sana siyang kalimutan
Dahil marami ang masasaktan
Ngunit paano ko ito malalampasan
Kung siya lagi ang nilalaman ng aking isipan

Hindi talaga magiging kami
Ayaw ko ring magbaka sakali
Dahil alam kong hindi niya ako gusto
Sapagkat iba ang sinisinta ng kanyang puso

A Bad Morning But A Nice Evening

2009-11-06T19:44:00.001+08:00

As usual I woke up early in the morning
From a very tired evening
I took a bath and then drink coffee
Watching youtube news before my journey

As I walked to our main branch to get something
I felt cold because I had a thin clothing
The weather now is cooling and changing
This is how it works because the planet is shifting

After my transaction I went to the MTR
Because my destination is very far
As I got inside the train cabin
Suddenly an announcement was given

The train cannot go to it’s full destination
But I did get off the next station
Maybe there is a problem in the railway
So I have to take the highway

I wanted to go to a safe way
But the only way out is in the alley
I carried heavy stuffs on my shoulder
That caused my heart to get a little hyper

Then I waited a very long time at the bus stop
But finally the bus arrived and I sit at the top
I called my colleague and we had a nice conversation
We put down the phone when I reached my destination

In our office we had a busy day
Customers come and then go away
Many paper works to be done
This is hard work but its fun

Even though we had many things to do
We still had time to rest a minute or two
My friend teaches me how to customize my blog
But the codes make my brain clog

Finally the work is over
It’s time to go home and take my dinner
Then my friend called when I was at home
She want some company for she was alone

Together we eat burger and fries
Our conversations were not dry
It’s good without the other guy
I like her but I really don’t know why

We went to a bookstore and she bought a book
Her auntie came and had this weird look
Maybe she’s thinking I’m her suitor
Oh no! I’m just her mentor

We went on separate ways after
And as I rest this night in prayer
I can say, this morning was a blunder
But this evening truly was better

Loves Of My Life

2009-11-06T19:41:00.000+08:00

When I was young I always dream about happenings of my life
Good and bad dreams when the time is ripe
Now that I am old I believe that my illusions came true
For sometimes dreams cannot be out of the blue

Let me tell you what I am talking about
Even though my life have so many doubts
My life is not as miserable as a lawless person
Who always do bad things even without reasons

I maybe selfish but only stingy to my love
Nourishing it like a freshly gaze of sunlight above
But all my love has left me with a broken heart
Leaving me tormented and torn me apart

My First love when I was at the age of five
She was a muse in our school healthy parade drive
I was the prince charming of that activity
Her attire actually matches her beauty

What a strange feeling I felt at that moment
When she looked at me I always keep silent
But she was taken away after the games
I didn’t even know her name

My Second love has a funny story
My friends always tease me
I’m usually absent during the first days of class
For I’m so shy when she and her friends amass

Months pass as I keep thinking of her
Suddenly I spoiled myself in laughter
For my friends and I had discover
That she wanted the same girl as her lover

Then I met this intelligent looking girl
I liked her hair that was curl
Her face was blooming like a pearl
This makes my eyes swirl

I was so shy to even talk to her
My friends told me it would be easier
If it wasn’t for her friends around
I would see her alone in the compound

I really don’t know why I am like this
There’s so many opportunity that I missed
How can I overcome the shy I feel?
All I wanted is for my feelings to reveal

The class season was nearly at end
I promised to talk to her at the last weekend
How unfortunate because I was sick
It just made my brain chaotic

Since that incident I never saw her again
I wanted to see her but I didn’t know where to begin
Long lost love of my life
Cuts my heart like a knife

New class season has begun
Shadows of the past has yet to overcome
But since my love has long gone
I finally took steps to move on

My fourth love I met months before graduation day
She was not beautiful but she’s okay
But my classmate likes her also
And he keeps touching her cheeks and elbow

I’m so jealous that I wanted to punch him
But I don’t want my love to think that I’m grim
So I behaved with utmost caution
Hoping to get her attention

On graduation day my relatives teases me
Why I had courted so badly
Well I never courted anybody
For my actions were very clumsy

When class graduation was over
My mouth remains falter
I did not say what I wanted to say
Until my love vanished by walking away

I have learned a lot in elementary
That I have to act a little bravely
I need to focus my mind clearly
So that my heart will not be empty

This is not the end of this chronicle
But a beginning of a new struggle
A struggle within inside of me
Hoping to get free from this adversary

My enemy is my heart and my brain
Who opposes each other that drive me insane
My heart likes to reveal the word
But my brain likes to keep it inward

I hope that these two will unite
So that I maybe alright
As of now I just want to rest my pen
It will write again, I just don’t know when